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The Ocean: The Incomprehensible, Intuitive Reminder

The Ocean from The Wild Unknown Archetypes Deck

I move through phases of daily pulls, in and out, a recurring theme based on the card above. At times, I want nothing more than to wake up, grab my cup of coffee, give my kitties a boop on the snoot, and then sit down with the cards, let them open me to deeper messages, and the divine.

Other times, the mere thought of sitting down for a daily pull feels like pulling teeth. It feels like the energies are too big and vague for one mere day, and I want something more than a message. During these times, I spend my morning reading books (not a bad habit), or going straight into my work.

Moving into and out of these energies at times makes me feel like I need structure, like I am wafting the creative energy right out of my space, while trying to call it in at the same time. It made me feel like my tarot practice, something that I have spent years now building to reach others and be of service for others, is still sometimes shaky. When looking to others creations, especially on social media, it seems that everyone else has structure, organization, personal clarity with their work.

However, this is not the case. Let me set the scene…….

I have been working with a business coach, the lovely Kelly-Ann Maddox, and she has been helping me get clear about some of the concepts mentioned above, along with many others. One of the things that we discussed was getting me out from behind the screen, making a more intimate connection with my viewers and readers. This is a huge point of growth for me, really stepping me out of my comfort zone, but I was determined to try. If I looked like an idiot, at least I would be able to say that this format is not for me, and gain a valuable lesson along the way.

So, I started filming myself, and it took about 40 attempts for me to get it to a place I was happy putting out onto Instagram. 40 ATTEMPTS. 40! This sentence makes me laugh, but it is true. I kept stumbling over my words and I had to sit on my desk with my phone propped up against the window because that is where I get the best light. After I put it out on Instagram, I accepted the fact that it wasn’t perfect, and that I probably was super awkward.

I started to get a few comments and views, but it was later last night that I received a comment that really touched me, and it was from someone whose creations I really admire. She said that my post resonated with her. MINE! My awkward self actually had something to give to someone else, and while I was judging and assuming that my video would not be well received, it actually really helped someone else, which makes my heart fuzzy.

I started writing this blog about the Ocean, and then digressed to something that happened yesterday, so what is the point? This is the point: do not assume what you do not know. Unconsciously, my offerings are based in my truth. Consciously, I fear the formalities (looking like an idiot, not being clear in my message.) This is Ocean energy.

The Ocean card speaks to immeasurable depths, relating to the unconscious and the incomprehensible. The Ocean archetype is alive when larger energies are at play that create change. The Ocean is present when we accept that Ocean cannot be tamed or taught. In order to merge with the unconscious, all we can do is surrender to the process, surrender to the guiding, larger forces that are present.

I knew that I was being called to step out of my comfort zone. I knew that it was in my higher and better self to be vulnerable, to be willing to raw on social media, a place where everything is polished and poised. The Ocean in this situation is reminding me that there is so much more beneath the surface, My unconscious self was ready for this growth, but my conscious mind was afraid and nervous.

If you are feeling out of balance, nervous, anxious, lean into Ocean energy. Pulling this card after my experience yesterday, it reaffirms to me that there is so much more beneath the surface than what I know. There is so much to gain and enjoy from following the path of higher calling, but there is so much unknown that it can be daunting to even attempt such a task. Don’t try to master or manipulate Ocean energy. Instead, use Ocean energy to let you embrace change with each small step. Use Ocean energy to connect and create alignment between conscious and unconscious spaces. They are both a part of you. Use Ocean energy to witness this spectrum, and attempt new things to create that change. It may not be pretty, but it will be beautiful.

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Reflections on an old blog post

The 5 of Cups from all my decks. Single pictures below.

Sometimes the most poignant lessons come from the ones you have already written. Sometimes the words that you wrote ages ago can reveal to you how far you have come, and how much you have offered before. These old teachings have the honor of coming from you, and following through you to become again.

Lately, I have been stirring the energies of my old writings. Between my blog and many, many journals I am able to see and remember the path that I have taken with tarot. I want to share an old blog post with you, one that I wrote on December 5, 2016. This time was right at the infancy of Tea and Tombstones, and my initiation into the tarot. I began to read tarot as a mere hobby, but my writings (at least I hope) show how quickly tarot settled into my very bones, changing my internal narrative, as well as the words that I offered out into the world. I want to share how I see this old post, and this card.

5 of Cups from the Mystical Dream Tarot. The emotional vessel we are means that we have to be mindful of when we are full or overflowing. Emotions and reason embrace the depth of knowledge to be gained. Mindful grace will help that which is in the depth come to light.

I started learning tarot very slowly, pulling a card once a day, but really committing to writing about a card weekly, which highlights one huge change. I don’t do a weekly pull anymore. Why? Because I believe that tarot has so much to offer that I could spend a whole life time on one single card. Now I do the monthly ezines to explore more deeply the resonance with each card. In between the texts I have included the 5 of Cups from all my decks, highlighting the many images that I personally have with this card. The old text will be colored in yellow to highlight the breaks between my past post, and this current one I am writing now.

The first card in this weekly series is the 5 of cups. This is perhaps not the most inspiring card to begin the week, but there is a lot that can be gained from this cup, and understanding the energy behind it. With this card there is disillusionment, depression, a feeling of loss, or focus on the negative aspects in life.

5 of Water / Goldenseal from the Herbcrafter’s Tarot. All the fives relate to endangered herbs, Goldenseal being one of the most endangered herbs. There is a need to face the threats coming in, but to move from a space of mindful protection to create nourishing restoration.

I find both truth and also a novice simplicity to this card. The 5’s all represent confrontation, conflict, or challenge of some kind. The fives are not easy to deal with, but they offer a deep pull towards the spectrum, towards the communal nature of your beautiful spirit. It isn’t always easy. I do still believe that the 5 of Cups speaks to disillusionment, loss, grief. But, I think that the 5 of Cups also speaks to what it means to feel courage. To reveal the truth of your heart brings the other side of the spectrum. It brings the fear that keeps us stagnant, retreating towards safety. When the very nature of the heart brings opposition, confliction, or doubt, our heart beats more rapidly. We feel like we must choose between truth or freedom. In reality, they are one and the same. They are the embodiment of what it means to feel into emotional vulnerability at the very moment we are seeking security and safety.

This card speaks to what every person feels in life at some point. It is not always a joyful ride. With joy comes grief, with changes come emotional turmoil, with relationships comes setbacks or breakups. There is so much going on in the world politically, socially, and individually. It is normal to feel the weight of changes and uncertainties. Human are messy creatures that can hurt or be hurt. Hurt comes in many forms. Even just this time of year brings out a sense of isolation and solitude.

5 of Cups from the Dragon Tarot. Although not an interactive image, this card speaks to not dwell on dissatisfaction. All emotions will move through, but it is always within your power to sit with the discomfort, and create your own transformative fire.

I felt the 5 of Cups stir in me when I turned on the news, tapped into any social event, or felt into what it meant to be a person, living and breathing, during the times of 2016. I feel the 5 of Cups now. I feel the 5 of Cups now when I look at my platform and my business. There is so much I wanted to do with this blog, and looking back on it, on all my previous posts, I realize that I kept myself looking into the dark abyss, feeling inadequate, feeling not good enough, feeling like I wasn’t worthy of having the platform I desire.

That is what the 5 of Cups teaches us. It teaches us that emotions can be a predictor for how we show up in the world. That is not to say that we should never feel any shadow emotions. All emotions are valuable teachers, but when we dwell on those negative emotions, those fears and vulnerabilities, it can stagnate us. It can halt us in our tracks when all we want to do is run.

What can be gained from this card is a personal, emotional check- in. If these feelings are present, the best thing right now can be restraint and reflection. Hasty decisions can make situations worse. It is ok to disengage. It is ok to say not right now, and it is ok to sit with these emotions for a while before reaching conclusions.

5 of Cups from the Wild Unknown. Freedom to move and choose and act and breathe is still possible, but it requires your courageous heart to acknowledge and reveal. Vulnerability is the only way to be whole. We cannot move from both love and fear.

This is still one of my biggest action-points with the 5 of Cups, and what I speak to with clients. The 5 of Cups should teach us that acknowledgment is not the same as dwelling. Dwelling, as mentioned leads to stagnation. But acknowledging our discomfort, our troubling emotions, and letting it move us towards reflection can create a beautiful window that lets all the light in. If you find yourself in the 5 of Cups, it is important to lean into self-care and restraint. Reactive emotions can create more problems. Reflective emotions can create great change.

Pulling this card today reminds me that energy is cyclical, but actions don’t have to be. This time of year, whether it is the holidays, the election, or the general nature of things, is already a hard time. Focus on what is positive, and what deserves that positive energy. Expectations and actions can be improved. Reflect and move forward when the time is right.

5 of Cups from Ostara Tarot. When we focus on loss from the perspective of ego, we cannot see that loss is inevitable to free the spirit. When we focus on what we lack, we continue to sit in skin that is begging us to shed and grow. Look up. Sit in the discomfort. This too will provide you everything you need.

I also fully believe that emotions can be cyclical. Frustration, hurt, guilt, shame, discomfort, and more will surface again and again. Each time they do, we have are given the gift of choice, so that our actions are not the same as before, if those previous actions were not helpful, or led to further hurt. We have all been the receiver and giver of these hard emotions. Letting reflection come through by acknowledging the emotion can show us what can bring us back to center.

Overall, I feel into this card much like I did years ago. There are obvious nuances and subtleties that will grow and change over time, but the paydirt of this card still holds me the same way. I cannot say I love this card, but I love that it reminds me that I am human, and that I can be messy even when I am ascending spiritually. I love that this card shows me the way out is through, and that my, and your, courageous heart can flourish towards personal and communal good.