Mother of Cups in the Dark

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There have been numerous words given to the Mother of Cups, full of praise and light, justly deserved. But there needs to be time given to the dark mother, the one in the corner, carrying wounds and weapons that haven’t been seen.

There are many reasons why it is important to go into the dark side of the tarot:

1.) There is no card in the deck that is strictly good or bad. They all carry the cosmos of light and trouble.

2.) There is no one way to “define” good or bad. Is a good card good because it makes us feel positive? Is a “bad” card the good one because it challenges us to grow and learn so we can honor our highest potential?

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The Mother of Cups promotes self-love, self-discovery, the need for boundaries, and a self-actualized encouragement to go deeper into what we love and cherish in this moment. However, despite these nuisances of deeper love and celebration, the Mother of Cups (just like any other card) has a dark side that reveals obstacles, troubles, or a need for change.

The Mother of Cups shows the beauty of self-love and love to others, but that doesn’t mean that everyone we are around is someone who will bring us joy. We are often required to be around others who we do not hold the best feelings for. This is not a shadow element, but how we deal with this can become a shadow element if we are unchecked in certain behaviors.

One behavior is shit-talking. This behavior does nothing but breed hostility. We are vocalizing our negative feelings,  but not in a way that reaches any conclusion or solution for growth. I want to be clear that shit-talking is not the same as venting. When we vent to someone, we are also not looking for any conclusion to be met, nor are we trying to make a point. We are simply letting out our emotions to someone we trust, or venting in a journal. When someone is trash-talking someone else, we are not trying to reach a solution, but we ARE trying to make a point of how bad this other person is.

When someone trash-talks another it is often because they would never express their feelings in a constructive way to the person involved. Obviously, this is problematic behavior. The Mother of Cup teaches self-love. If we are hurt or upset with someone that is okay, but it becomes problematic when we refuse to address the issue, and resort to bad-mouthing someone behind their back.

 

Another dark side to the Mother of Cups is the need for validation from others. If there is a need to be validated or approved by others, it can often be because of deep-rooted insecurities. The problem here is that the gratification for validation never promotes self-love because it didn’t through us or for us. It came out of a need to be enriched by the words of others, to be seen or in the spotlight. When we practice self-love, we are validating our own vulnerable nature, complete with gifts and flaws.

The urge to be validated can be seen in many ways. It can be seen in jealousy, that we want more validation that someone else. It can be seen in toxic comparisons, or in the need to be competitive with another person, to outdo them and shine brighter. Obviously, all of these are problematic because it fosters a negative outlook. It preaches that we don’t have enough, but it never encourages a healthy way to express our emotions.

Finally, the Mother of Cups is highly intuitive and nurturing. Because of these qualities, she is also prone to burn-out, creative dismantling, or emotionally worn. If the Mother of Cups does not take time to spend alone or with others who fuel her creative or emotional passions, if she is constantly fulfilling the needs of others while neglecting herself, she will burn out. Boundaries and the Sacred No are incredibly important for the Mother of Cups. She needs to be able to take care of herself so that she can serve others.

**Please note that I am not saying that these traits equal a bad person. We all hold and often can act on this dark elements at times. What is important to be mindful, and work to foster an environment where we are self-loving, and promoting love and honesty to others.**

Let me know your thoughts!

Much love Wolflings,

Ashlie

The first book I learned to read tarot with, and how a glossy page can make all the difference.

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Do you ever stand in a bookstore, your eyes darting back and forth between the titles, unsure of which one is the right keeper of knowledge? When I first started to read tarot, it was out of necessity. I needed to put a pulse back in my chest, and a roar back in my throat if I was to brave another year. I went to the bookstore, knowing that I wanted a book worthy of this step. But all the titles professed the same action. They all held promise of expansion and depth, spirit making strides.

I finally settled on this book: The Key to Tarot: From Suits to Symbolism; Advice and Exercises to Unlock your Mystical Potential by Sarah Bartlett. Why did I settle on this book, because it felt beautiful in my hands. The hard, chocolate brown cover felt appropriate. The pages were colored. The pages were glossy. There was something about the shine, the texture, the lift of reds and blues from the page that made me settle on this one.

This book is a great beginner’s book because it goes into each card well for a beginner level. It includes exercises and meditations to connect more deeply into yourself and the craft. It also has some good spreads that I still use today. I must admit that I no longer reach for this book that much, but as my very first tarot book, it was a star-find. Other books that I have purchased since then have not fully compared to this book. Perhaps it is my nostalgia. Perhaps it is glossy pages and way the spine creases into the skin of my folded legs. I don’t know, but I love this little book.

I had placed this book on a shelf after I read it, and moved on to other titles. I came across some journal posts from when I first started reading, and I realized how much writing I did when I was travelling through this book. I wrote in my journal constantly. Everything was somehow related to the meanings of the cards that I was slowly absorbing with this book. I din’t think too much of it. I read the journal posts, smiled at how far I have come, and went about my day.

That was about a week ago. Since then I have gone through many books on my shelves, packing the one that I know I want to keep, but will not read for some time. Others, given away as donations. I pulled this book down off the shelf I was going through and again felt that tinge of nostalgia, like looking at an old picture of myself. I really wanted to go through some of the meditations and exercises again to really see how my tarot interpretations have become layered.

If you are new to tarot, document everything! Write it down, film it, take pictures, draw it. However you do it, just do it. Document your travels because it will become a map. It will show you how to rejoin an old part of yourself that perhaps has slithered deep into the dusky layer of the subconscious. Document so you can look back and see what your gut thoughts were. Don’t take the interpretations in the pages (no matter how glossy) as gospel. Make your own choices and see what is right for you. For example, the book mentioned here reads Court Cards as other people. I have never found Court Cards to be representative messages of other people. Never. Do what feels right, and keep it documented so you can come back with a seasoned heart later for reconnection.

You can find Sarah’s book here, along with many other books that she has written. This is not an affiliate code. I think this is a great little book if you are a tarot novice, or looking for your first book. I would love to hear the books that guided your path, tarot or otherwise. Much love wolflings!

 

 

The Pros and Cons of Different Forms of a Tarot Reading.

 

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There are different ways to receive a tarot reading. Before, the list was limited to mostly face-to-face readings, calling a hotline, or knowing someone personally. These are all great ways to receive readings, but the internet has now offered the ability to communicate with someone you connect with, even if they live across the country, or globe.

There are pros and cons to different styles of readings. These numerous options allow you to find someone that will match the reading style, or attitude you share with tarot (predictive, intuitive, counseling, etc.).

Please keep in mind that these are my opinions, and many other readers will differ. This is a great thing, because it means that different readers are suited towards different seekers. Please also note that I have not done fairs, telephone, or Skype readings for clients, so in the spirit of honesty, I will only be listing in-person, and email readings.

Reading in person: Pros

  • Being in person allows a great freedom for energy transfer, dialog, and safety. I love when I get to sit with my clients because I get to share that space with them. Having the space to just sit, communicate, cry, laugh, and question without any judgment amplifies how worthwhile a reading can be.
  • Another positive aspect is the commitment. If you commit, either through appointment, or walk-in, you have already made a huge step in loving and empowering yourself.
  • If weather and trust permit, you can take tarot on a walk or to the park. You can step out of the walls of buildings. Spaces have energy, and if the energy is good, it can enhance the reading. Buildings can also hold so much love, so there is no hierarchy.
  • The atmosphere can be multi-layered. It can be casual, but also serious in the attempts to reach the bedrock of a problem or question.

Reading in person: Cons

  • Space is often an issue. I read at White Wolf Medicine, which is a beautiful holistic pharmacy in Elizabeth, Colorado, but it is not close for many people. If people want to book with me, but cannot justify the long drive, space becomes limited.
  • I personally do not like to do readings in coffee shops, book stores, or restaurants. Tarot brings MANY emotions up. The subconscious is brimming with held-in feelings and thoughts, and a tarot is a easy drive to release that energy. I don’t want my clients to feel like they have to suppress needed emotions because we are in a loud Starbucks. I don’t want to feel like I have to hold back things that the tarot surfaces. Many spaces are much more forgiving, but it still feels like an intrusion to me.
  • Many tarot readers love to read in these places. I like private settings. I like a more intimate space where it is just me and my client, and the tarot. The other con is that sadly, many people still look on and judge tarot as artificial or cheap. I would not want that energy to permeate a beautiful space.
  • Finding time is hard these days. Everyone is working, or on the go. Face-to-face readings, while beneficial in many ways, promotes one more deadline or appointment to keep.

Email reading: Pros

  • Tarot does not have to be done face to face anymore. In fact, many tarot readers have websites where spreads are listed, prices are enclosed, and other information is given. Social media accounts can help determine if a certain reader will suit your needs. If they do, but they are in a different state, you can still connect with them for a reading.
  • Email readings are often written as word documents, so you have the reading at your disposal. You can print it out, hang it up, make notes, and come back to it as you need.
  • Another positive is sometimes distance makes the difference. When there is the distance of an email, some people may actually respond and connect with it better. They may feel insecure with face-to-face reading. They may feel too raw to meet in person. An email reading allows them the full energy of a reading, without the worry.
  • Finally, time is hard to come by these days. Cars are not always reliable. Family needs are a priority. An email reading takes a lot of the hassle of keeping an appointment away.
  • Email readings do not cheapen the quality. Many readers prefer email style because it allows them to devote that time to the seeker uninterrupted by outside noise or neighbors.

Email Reading Cons:

  • Things can get lost in translation, and it is not as easy as simply asking a question. There must be detailed follow-through from the reader, and detailed notes from the client.
  • For those who prefer readings in real-time, emails can sometimes lack personal connection. It is doable, but it does not give the shared energy of the person sitting there with you.
  • The wait time is often a standard 7 days. Often the reading comes before that 7-day deadline, but 7 days is a standard time. With booking a real-time reading, you receive the reading that day.

These are some of the pros and cons to in-person vs. email readings. Thank you for reading. Please let me know what your preferred tarot reading styles are and why. Stay wild wolf-pack!

Much love darlings,

Ashlie